The DawL House

March 12, 2014

Here it is!

Filed under: Announcements, From the Heart, The Flock — Tags: , , — DeAnna @ 01:53

Our new project: Marden’s Ark Avian Refuge
http://www.avianrefuge.org

We are in the beginning stages of starting a bird rescue. We have a website, Facebook page and a YouTube channel where we can share pictures and videos and bird information. Needless to say, I won’t have much time for personal blogging. Thanks to all who have stopped by over the years.

February 16, 2014

Abandoning ship…

Filed under: Announcements — DeAnna @ 12:18

This blog is soon to fall by the wayside, replaced by other tasks surfacing as more important on the personal priority scale. Look for links to a bird care and rescue blog in the future.

January 20, 2014

Slow Healing

Filed under: From the Heart, The Flock — DeAnna @ 10:40

Only God truly understands human emotions. The human spirit is a mystery to mankind as much as any wild, unpredictable force. The course of our thoughts and emotions is unique in each of us. Some of us are strong, some are weak, some are kind, and some are selfish. But God knows the heart of each one.

Right now, my tender heart is raw and aching. My loss is profound and the sorrow is so deep it often takes my very breath. I am a grieving mother who has lost her baby son.

I know that time will lessen the pain, but I pray each day to God for healing. Though I cannot see His purpose in my grief, I will not dare to question. I have faith that some day I will know and understand. For right now, I will trust and make pleas for His mercy upon my great pain.

It has been one week, and I still cry every day. I have read all the way through Job, seeking the comfort of God. Unlike Job, however, I am not perfect and upright in every way. Were I to have a visit from three comforters such as he had, I would be fully deserving of their speculation that I had brought misery upon my own head. Yet in all my imperfection, I can still feel God’s hand upon me. No, I am not Job - His shining example of a perfect and upright human, yet He loves me still, and hears my cries.

January 15, 2014

A Time for Grieving

Filed under: From the Heart, The Flock — DeAnna @ 22:34

The past few days have been a roller-coaster of numb shock, broken by wracking pangs of grief. The little light of my life is gone.

Today, I picked up his cremains at our vet office. I don’t know what I was expecting. A small cardboard box? A plastic bottle? A paper bag? Instead I found a beautiful blue velvet bag with the words “Until We Meet Again At The Rainbow Bridge” in gold letters. Inside was an exquisite hand-carved wooden box. It is absolutely beautiful. Along with the box were a nice card, the certificate of cremation, and a small card with a cotton decoration attached complete with the instructions to plant it so that wildflowers would grow in honor of my departed baby.

The tears haven’t stopped. I was finally able to eat today, but nothing tasted right. I ate because I knew my body needed it, not because I wanted to. I did share with Megan, which made it better for both of us, I think.

I miss him so much that it feels as if the pain is going to physically rip my heart from my body. If there was anything I could do to go back in time and change things, I most certainly would. But that is not what God had planned. I wish I could say I knew where “the good” in His plan was right now, as in “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.” Right now all I feel is pain, and I pray each day for the strength to get out of bed to care for the remaining children. So far He has given me the strength to carry on. I pray each day for healing and help to shoulder the grief and pain of losing my baby boy. All prayers are greatly appreciated.

January 14, 2014

Devastation

Filed under: Announcements, From the Heart, The Flock — DeAnna @ 10:29

Fly free, my little angel

Fly free, my little angel

The more you love, the harder it hurts when you lose that love.

Yesterday, the unthinkable happened. I lost my darling little boy. My Congo African Grey, Marden, died yesterday after being sick for several weeks.  Just a month ago, they had their physicals and were pronounced in great health. How quickly things can change with birds.

He was the light of my life and my joy. Every day with him was blessed by his beautiful, sweet demeanor.  He was affectionately dubbed by his breeder “The best bird in the world”  and he lived up to that title. He charmed everyone he met with his beautiful nature. He was affectionate and returned my love freely. There is now a bird-shaped hole in my heart that may never fully heal.

The pain within me is intense. I have cried until my eyes feel as if they are so raw they might bleed. My sleep is torturous and broken. I feel lost and wounded. The only way I can go on is to tell myself the other babies need me and I have to pull myself together for their sake. I must, but only with pain and prayer.

I have been staying very close to our girl, Megan. They were hatched at the same breeder near the same time. She hatched January 2nd of 2011 and he hatched nine days later. They had been together ever since. I cannot imagine how she feels at this time.

My dear husband left for a trip yesterday, not long before our baby died.  I had to call him to let him know and he was heartbroken. I don’ t think I have ever heard so much pain in his voice. These babies are our children. He was their daddy. Though Mar loved me, he adored daddy.  And daddy adored him.

This is the danger of the childless adopting children who are not human. Had he been a human child, there would be a period of bereavement. You don’ t get that for “a pet” - even when your beloved was so much more than a pet to your family.

All I can do is pray for comfort. There is none other than God who can heal this incredible pain that lives within our whole family.

January 3, 2014

It’s a Girl

Filed under: Announcements, From the Heart — DeAnna @ 00:45

We have a new member in our family. Meet Raven Mirelle:

raven

She is a very sweet, affectionate girl. Shy and a bit timid right now, but I am betting that changes real quickly. I also predict she will be as spoiled as Riley is.

This is what she looked like when we met her and picked her out:

ravenatshelter

She was picked up as a stray, and they estimate she is about two years old.  From the looks of her, if she wasn’t a stray, she was very neglected.

She has a good forever home now, and seems to be enjoying it.

December 9, 2013

Peace

Filed under: From the Heart, Musings — Tags: , , , — DeAnna @ 03:54

There are many different ways to experience peace in life. There is the peace that is found at the breast of a mother, in safety and love.  There is the peace in ones’ own heart as you reach the age of realizing you can control your own destiny. There is the peace you find in the quiet strength you share with your soul-mate. And there is a peace you feel when you know you done what is right and you let go of the feelings of hurt and unfairness when others use your sacrifices against you. Sometimes letting go isn’t easy. But in the end, it can be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Stress wears on you like no other disease and stifles your peace and happiness. Cut out the cause like a vile cancer then put your energy into forgetting it was ever there.

May we all have peace in our hearts this season.

November 28, 2013

Giving Thanks

Filed under: From the Heart, Musings — DeAnna @ 00:01

At this time of the year, as dinners are prepared and families gather, thoughts turn to being thankful for our blessings.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I hope everyone has plenty in their lives for which to be thankful!

November 17, 2013

Play yard!

Filed under: Blathering — DeAnna @ 04:21

The fence is up! A nice little play yard for his royal highness, Sir Riley Michael! He’s been VERY good. He barked when the doorbell rang as the workers arrived but other than that he just quietly watched the goings on. The corner posts were set and they said they’d be mostly done by lunch time on Monday however there were some setbacks. We added a third gate, a small (4′) gate on the west side of the yard, to allow me to get to the bird feeders easily as they are all on the more wooded west side of the yard. Though they (Lowes) were great about accommodating my very last minute change, by the time materials were delivered it was too late because the posts had to be set on concrete and that had to cure, so they left it overnight and finished it on Tuesday.

I hope the little muttlett likes his new digs. The first day, he went out and just RAN in circles.  He seemed to really be enjoying it. Of course, I still cannot leave him out by himself as the area under the deck is open, so the yard is still not secure. We are going to install lattice at one end to block any attempted egress and he will then be completely penned in and safe from wandering into the busy road!

The fence is chain link along three sides with a vinyl privacy fence along the drive, facing the road. This hides the trash cans from view.  Now all we need is a dog door!

I will try to get some pictures soon.

November 11, 2013

Another sad goodbye

Filed under: From the Heart — DeAnna @ 11:25

Last week was a terrible one. On Monday, I had to take our budgie to the Avian vet for respiratory problems. I called in the morning, described the symptoms and was immediately given an appointment. They took very good care of her and managed to work Marden and Megan in for a desperately needed trim on their flesh-rending talons.

That morning when I fed the cats breakfast, I noticed some vomit on the floor. It was whole food. I blamed Gwyn because she occasionally swallows food whole (especially when stealing someone else’s food - which I’d seen her do when I fed them supper the night before). I cleaned it up and scolded her. I gave Mama her morning pills and brushed her and loved on her for quite a while.  A couple of hours later, I found a couple of stains on the rug. One was green and the other was green with what appeared to be a small bluish piece of plastic. I looked more closely and realized it was the gelatin capsules from Mama’s  medication.  She was at the water dish drinking, and then put her head in the food and ate a little, so I though perhaps she had an empty stomach when I gave the pills and it got upset which happened on rare occasion.

This was not the case. By supper time, she was acting lethargic and there were numerous green stains on the floor.  Of course it was evening, and the vet was closed. I offered canned chicken, then just the broth mixed with an infant electrolyte supplement (Pedialyte). She took about 5 mL and then proceeded to violently vomit it back up. I had a very bad feeling at that point. I slept on the floor in the room and as soon as the vet opened in the morning, I was on the phone. They told me to bring her in and Dr. Fontenot did some blood work.  Not good. She was anemic and had very poor kidney function. She was very dehydrated, so they gave her IV fluids but she did not seem to recover. She was very weak. The next day, the vet recommended and arranged for a unit of blood to do a transfusion. By the time it was set up, it was late in the day and it was planned for in the morning. I drove to Raleigh and picked up the unit of blood.  After dropping it off, I came home and waited. It wasn’t long before I got a phone call from the vet. It wasn’t good news…

Mama died on the table as he prepared to start the transfusion.

My heart is breaking. I cried almost the entire day. She was very special to me. She’d been through a lot of health problems over the past couple of years and was always very accepting of her doctors and the procedures she’d endured. Even taking medicine twice a day had come to be an unpleasant but tolerated routine.

She had chosen me to be her ‘person’, and I knew that she loved me. I brought her home in my arms and wept the entire time my husband dug a small grave at the back of our lot between the Bradford pears under the shade of a small wild plum tree.

Good bye, my girl. We fought a long, hard fight, and you were my best little patient. I will always love you and I miss you terribly.

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